And, spoiler alert, I wasn’t.
My old job, although it wasn’t right for me anymore, had become so natural to me. It was like breathing.
I got up, drove to work and spent 9 hours with the same, familiar faces. And whilst I sometimes drove home frustrated, it was a comfortable frustration. One I knew how to handle. One I knew how to shake off at the end of the day.
But as last week came an end, my time as a Senior Account Manager also ended.
Whilst I didn’t mind leaving all the stress and heartbreak that comes with the job, I wasn’t so comfortable leaving a job that felt like home to me.
All of a sudden I was Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. I didn’t like the fact that my life was changing and that I didn’t know what it would turn into.
There’s an unease that comes with uncertainty. It’s like being at the gym and stepping from the flat, safe floor onto a Bosu ball. It’s not stable, it takes some time getting used to and there is a fear that you will end up on your ass.
I went from knowing what I was doing, who everyone was and where everything is…to knowing nothing.
Not a single thing.
And that scared me.
But more than anything else, the fact that I wouldn’t know anyone, any of their inside jokes and what they liked/disliked scared me more than anything else. I had left behind some great people. Some great friends. And suddenly I was the newbie, making awkward conversations and not sure whether anyone would be nice (and to be honest, if they would be funny, because I can’t be stuck around a load of stale, bland people for 40 hours a week!)
I am now a week in. I’m drained. I ache. And my head is so full of names and information that I’m scared if I lean too far forward, the weight of my head will make me topple over.
Despite all of this – it’s been good!
Turns out, there are nice people everywhere who will always welcome you, will always make you laugh and always make you feel like you are part of the team. These last 5 days have shown me a lot – firstly that I walked very very little at my old job (but that’s a whole other blog post) but also that changes are never as scary as they seem. In fact, they are good!
I’m only a week in but I’m already excited about what will come next.